Fantasy Football Files - 2025/26 - Gameweek 2 - 'Bet Viktor & Cole Marley'

Gameweek 2 pitted me against Boods (Ash). This was only his third season in the ‘Justice League’, and he already had a second placed finish under his belt. I was trying to avoid successive head-to-head defeats, so this was not an opponent I needed to see to be honest.

I knew I was up against a good team; however, I refused to be drawn into using my ‘Wildcard’ this early although Boods had the heavily owned Joao Pedro as well as a man I feared in Viktor Gyokeres. I saw Gyokeres was my opponent’s captain when the deadline passed. In terms of my captaincy, I tried something early as I was already playing catchup, and I captained Ollie Watkins, as Aston Villa travelled to Brentford and the Bees looked vulnerable last week when they lost to Nottingham Forest. Mo Salah usually does a job against Newcastle, but I thought I would try a differential captain.

The action started on Friday, as West Ham entertained Chelsea. I say that, in the end it was Enzo Maresca’s men who entertained as Hammers fans were left in pain. Reece James did not start for Boods’ team and Cole Palmer was injured in the warmup which affected us both. I had considered selling Palmer, then thought it was way too early, and this was how I was rewarded. I then saw he made an appearance at the Notting Hill Carnival disguised like he had been listening to too much Bob Marley, he is asking me to sell him, isn’t he? This did not stop Boods from stacking points as Joao Pedro levelled things up after an emphatic strike by Lucas Paqueta had given Graham Potter’s men the lead. The goal was assisted by Marc Cucurella who got another return after my late omission of him. Pedro then assisted the Blues’ second for Pedro Neto as Chelsea went on to win 5-1. Some West Ham fans left so early they probably caught some of the game at home. I should have stopped watching at 3-1 myself as Aaron Wan-Bissaka and Jarrod Bowen got me absolutely nothing.

Saturday, saw Manchester City fall at home again to their bogey team Tottenham in the early kick-off. City started well and should have been ahead, only for Spurs to punish them. Brennan Johnson scored in consecutive league games as Thomas Frank’s men hit the hosts on the break. Joao Palhinha then added a second after James Trafford made a poor pass and the away sides pressing was rewarded. Boods and I both had Micky van de Ven in defence and he made an important block on Phil Foden in the second period as it ended 2-0. I was up against Mohammed Kudus who was great in gameweek 1, so I was thankful he blanked. Tijani Reijnders, the inspiration for my new team’s name was in Boods’ team.

In the 3pm’s, I thought I was a genius as Burnley somehow kept a clean sheet at home to Sunderland, the away team had some good chances in the first half. The only thing Simon Adringa did was slap an opposing player and get booked. Martin Dubravka’s clean sheet was to be matched by the keeper I put on the bench Caoimhin Kelleher, as Brentford edged past Aston Villa 1-0 at the G-Tech Stadium. This meant that my captaincy of Watkins dramatically failed as with the 15 points Joao Pedro accumulated, I was basically accepting defeat already as Boods’ captain was yet to play. Dango Ouatarra (£6m) got the only goal on his debut for his new club and could be an asset. He did well last season as a false 9 for Bournemouth and with regular playing time in his natural position he could deliver.

The game I feared I would have to hide behind the couch for was at 5.30pm, and it went exactly how I thought it would, confirming my destiny. Arsenal thumped Leeds 5-0 as they pressed like their lives depended on it as Daniel Farke’s men struggled to play it out from the back. Jurrien Timber bagged a brace, the other brace in the game was the one that was more important as Gyokeres opened his Premier League account with a fine strike before netting a penalty for the fifth goal. I was well and truly finished and it was only Saturday, I only had four men left and my opponent had two of them. To add on top of that Boods who is an Arsenal fan, had Gabriel Magalhaes in defence. If ever there was a time for that Simpsons meme ‘stop, he’s already dead!’ it was now. I therefore needed at least five goal contributions from Cody Gakpo and a couple from Nikola Milenkovic, as even if Forest kept a clean sheet, he had Matz Sels as his keeper. Now that is not too much to ask surely. I felt sick, back-to-back defeats were pending. Is this life?

Sunday saw Crystal Palace and Nottingham Forest draw 1-1, so there were no clean sheet points for either of us. Sels had to make a couple of decent saves. Monday oversaw another classic Premier League encounter between Newcastle and Liverpool. In a contest that was always going to be fiery, there was not much good football played; however, Eddie Howe’s men were easily the better team. It was the Reds who took the lead though, Gakpo got the first of the five goal contributions I needed (I am clearly being sarcastic!) as he found Ryan Gravenberch who shot in off the post. Then an overzealous Anthony Gordon was sent off for a poor challenge on Virgil van Dijk and things were looking ominous for Geordies. The second half began with another Gakpo assist as Hugo Ekitike finished brilliantly in off the post. Something told me it was not over, and I was right, the Magpies battled back to make it 2-2 as they caught the Reds out with two set pieces. Will Osula’s goal was in the 88^th minute and looked like it had salvaged a point, when a slick Liverpool move saw teenager Rio Ngumoha grab the winner with a fine finish to win it for Arne Slot’s men in the 100^th minute. Salah once again provided as his pass was superbly dummied by Dominic Szoboszlai to set up the goal. Boods and I endured another blank from Florian Wirtz, I am not looking to sell just yet I do not think.

So, at least my club gave me something to smile at, as I was humiliated 67-39 by Boods. I sit rock bottom of the Justice League with my worst start to the campaign that I can remember with only 87 points now overall. Null and void the season! What I decide to do with Palmer may define my next couple of gameweeks.

Another disastrous week

@DubulDee